Monday Musings: Forever Evolving


To say I’m a domesticated sort of female is honestly an insult to all of you females (and males!) who are truly amazing at making the household run without a hitch. When the hubby and I were dating, I would spend 90% of the time with him since we were young, wild and crazy then and he lived by public transportation into DC. It made sense. The handful of times he visited me, I can assure you both the apartment and my room were a constant disaster zone. Lucky for me, he passed it off as a “she just doesn’t have time to pick-up after herself because she’s always at my place”. It wasn’t until six months later when we moved into our first place (told you – young, wild and crazy), that he realized how very, very wrong he had been in that messiness assumption.

It’s been a struggle, these past nine years, when it comes to the “feeding and care” of the home. A manageable struggle, but still, a struggle. And at the beginning of it all, my husband wanted me to be a finished product as fast as I could get there. When all you know is routine and regimen, I get it. To have this chick that whirls through the house like a Tasmanian Devil, tearing up what you have just put away can’t be fun. But it’s funny what can happen when you learn to relax a little bit (him) and you let the other person (me) evolve in a way that allows them time to work through the struggle. Allows them time for the understanding of why a certain task is important vs. doing something just because, something I will never understand.

So why this quote on this Monday? It was a smack to my face sorta quote because my hubby has been working on “his” stuff for a little while now. And just like he in the past, I’ve been wanting the finished product out of him immediately. I had only remembered my struggle as painful when in fact, it was sorta beautiful. We both learned something about ourselves in my process. And now with the reverse, that learning on both sides continues. If someone is truly wanting to work on stuff, you have to give them the time and grace to do so in their own way, so that they understand why they are working through it. Without the understanding, bad habits are doomed to return. So be patient with people this week. Some of us are really, really trying to change and grow for the better. Alright, I gotta go put my now wrinkled, “I’ve sat in the basket clean all weekend” laundry away. See, time and grace. While I do that, dig into your Monday morning reads!

Bring Yourself Some Peace: This article is less holistic mumbo jumbo and more meditation for dummies. If you’ve ever thought about trying it to find your inner calm to deal with x, y and z, read.

No Grace For You: There are definite reasons to NOT give someone (or something in this case) the care and feeding to evolve. Enter this site. I shudder.

We Can All Relate: Number 9. Number 11. Number 19. Someday we’ll master it all.

Friends in Low Places: Talk about someone that is still evolving. I don’t know if it was all of those (NERD ALERT!) junior high and high school band trips on the bus with Thunder Rolls booming from the back or what. But I’m kinda excited about this.

No Guilt: Guaranteed you’re thinking about your summer to fall wardrobe transition. Or at least I am…or the lack thereof for me this year. You know, with France and all. This guide will help you evolve that closet at all price points! You can thank me later.

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  • elle [wonderfelle world]
    August 11, 2014 at 4:40 pm

    Really interesting perspective on this quote and life in general! In thinking about it, I’m maybe the least domestic person ever and I might come from a place of assuming people (and myself) are just finished without really giving things a chance to evolve – as in I just don’t cook, so we order/go out for every meal. I’ve literally never used our oven/stove/microwave or dishwasher. Ever. Though I’m relatively “neat” I hate actual cleaning (solution = cleaning service) and don’t do laundry (my husband does it b/c he works from home and the laundry room is less crowded during the day, otherwise I would use a laundry service). So yeah, probably a “bad wife” according to a lot of people… but I (we?) sort of just decided those aren’t “my” things and that’s fine. As long as they get done… Bringing a puppy into our home is definitely going to be interesting but I’m determined to be a good puppy mom!

    • Jenn Specketer
      August 15, 2014 at 9:26 am

      My BFF, she and I (and you!) are a lot alike. She’s in constant awe that I now do things like cook and clean and take out the trash (Ew!) Deep down she knows it’s not really me, and it isn’t. I like it sometimes. Or rather, I want to like it. I think the hubby has realized he’s a much better housekeeper than I will ever be, but I try because I know (for some sick reason that I’ll never understand), me doing the dishes without being asked is hotter to him than most anything. My ideal is really lounging around in beautiful caftans all day with a cocktail in hand reading gossip magazines. Maybe we were royalty in another life! You’ll be a great puppy mommy! You don’t need to be domesticated in any sense to take care of something, in my opinion. You just need a big heart and some patience! The rest will fall into place.